Who wears the blame?

Sitting and listening, knowing that I have a lot to offer you.. but what do I give to myself? If I can always create space for the people around me, what do I get I return?

Most times it’s nothing.. I have to sit with my disappointment and regret, and who takes on that burden besides me? No one. Because I’m the same one; right? I’m the get shit done one. No matter what.. meanwhile, who is helping me? Nobody is and they go home comfortable and sane. At least in their minds. But you have DUMPED ON ME.. and hurt me worse than I was because, now I wanna solve your problems before my own.

They say it's ok to not be ok, but I AM NOT OK! Do you hear me?

Do you call me?

Do you reach out to say, “ hey, we haven’t spoken, but how’re you doing? Most times the answer is you yourself haven’t been okay.. and I don’t know..

But I still love and you know I love hard and I will never leave you.. however, when do you choose me, when do you ever say “I wonder how they are doing..” you may think it.. or say it in your deepest thoughts, but in your mind is there ever a right time for me?

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We've all been this person a time or two, but the question shouldn't be to the opposing person.. only to yourself. Many of us have been in a predicament where we assumed someone knew how we felt, instead of requiring those actions from them. Reciprocity goes more ways than 1, and sometimes requires effort. The pain from it comes from seeing what could happen, instead of believing what you've been shown.

When you require a certain caliber of respect, love, trust, ect. You have to respect yourself enough to remove yourself from those situations that cause you discomfort, and hurt. I don't know why most feel a need to endure any kind of suffering. The best advice I would offer in this situation is..

"Expecting someone to treat you better than you treat yourself is insanity. When you carry yourself with the utmost love and respect, it'll weed out those who mean you no good. Yes, some may slip through the cracks, but they will not last long. You won't let them."

I pray this helps.