Using grief to your advantage..

Be patient with your heart in times of grief and transitioning. These are changes that you can’t prepare for, but you can offer yourself the adequate support that is needed. Whether it be through self care or leaning on a great group of friends. I want you to consider that you’re amazing and resilient. There is no right way to grieve the same way there is no right way to deal with change. You must allow yourself to feel your emotions and be present in whatever is pulsating through you. I want to encourage you to put you first in anyway that is necessary for your growth. Cry, yell, scream, praise, reminisce, and whatever your soul calls for you to do. Laugh when you can, and smile as much as possible.. it does get better, but it takes time. Your healing does not take place when you will yourself to hold it all together. Healing comes when you’re brave enough to allow it all to fall apart, and you work to put it back together. Overstand that once something is broken it will never be the same, but it doesn't stay that way. One way to grow through a grieving process is to strive for what’s new and not what’s old. Memories are a beautiful thing to have because, you won't ever forget. However, it's not always something you want to acknowledge, but life does not stop. Sometimes I think we get so caught up in trying to hold on to what was that we forget what can be.

When we love we love tremendously hard, and with everything in us.. so naturally it's going to take a lot to grieve through what you can no longer have.

Just thinking and writing about that now puts me in a somber place. Like most things that happen that we would rather not go through, grief is also necessary. Grief can teach a person gratitude, appreciation, accountability, and even love. I read this verse from the bible when I was 18, and it changed how I looked at grief.

Ecclesiastes 7: 2-3 " It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart.

Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart"

It's almost always going to hurt, but take from grief what you can and transmute what is too much. From experience I've learned to offer grace, cherish and love on who loves me, and to not take life so seriously. Grief has taught me we are not as different as we want to believe. The biggest thing that grief has taught me; life is too precious to waste on people and situations that I cannot control. We spend a lot of time in our lives at some point giving too much of ourselves to things that won't positively serve us.

I love you, I life you, I respect you.. and I pray this helps.